so many things had happened during those days.....  suddently feel a bit tired... fed up... helpless... lost myself......

i'm so confused!!!  suddently, i feel i cant understand myself anymore... dun know what i'm doing,  dun know what else i can do,  dun know y i cant give up,  dun know y i cant let him go,  I DONT KNOWN!!!!!!!!!!!  what i'm doing??? what i'm waiting for??? what i'm ...............................

everything has been clearly said & decided,  i know the fact  totally -- things cannot change, cannot turn back, cannot make any difference.... So, if i know the truth, y i'm still keep doing some stupid stuff ; y i'm still trying that hard ; y i'm still putting that much effort to try to make it works; and actully, i know it's all useless, pointless, meanless : -

                "THINGS NEVER EVER WILL BE CHANGE !!! "

give up ... give up... give up ... give up ... give up ... give up ... give up ... give up ... give up ... give up ... give up ... give up ... give up ... give up ... give up ... give up ... give up ... give up ... give up ... give up ... give up ... give up ... give up ... give up ... give up ... give up ... give up ... give up ... give up ... give up ... give up ... give up ... give up ... give up ... give up ... give up ... give up ... give up ... give up ... give up ... give up ... give up ... give up ... give up ... give up ... give up ... give up ... give up ... give up ... give up ... give up ... give up ... give up ... give up ... give up ... give up ... give up ... give up ... give up ... give up ... give up ... give up ... give up ... give up ... give up ... give up ... give up ... give up ... give up ... give up ... give up ... give up ... give up ... give up ... give up ... give up ... give up ... give up .....................................................................................................

(CAN I ...... really ??? )